Cyberbullying – a parent’s solution

Just found this post on Blogrush and thought I’d share it even though it’s not strictly workplace bullying.

I say solution… I’m not sure Allan would agree it’s a solution, but it is a start.

Have a read…

For what it’s worth – yes I do think that social bookmarking sites like Bebo and Myspace should have anti-bullying forums.  Anything to help support parents and teenagers – and others – can only be a good thing.

Duty of Care

As a manager what do you do when you see someone being bullied.  When they tell you their work life is a misery. 

If they want you to take action, it’s more straightforward I think.  You get both sides of the story, you involve HR.  You talk to the bully and get them engaged (somehow) in changing their behaviour.  You have performance improvement plans, formal warnings and other “incentives” to see a change.

But what if the employee doesn’t want you to take action?  What then?

In my workplace the same bully that intimidates me has collected a coterie of colleagues.  There’s his personal assistant – who is completely co-dependant and retreats into his “child” when confronted on anything.  There is the woman sitting opposite him – who treads a fine line betweeen being their friend and “keeping in with management” and there’s another personal assistant (to another person) who is starting to “mouth” the sentiments of the bully.  These four are often seen going off for coffee together, and are known to socialise outside the office.

Enter my employee, specifically hired to do a project started by the bully.    She is hard-working and very good at what she does.  From the moment she started she has been excluded by this little coterie.  Never invited out to coffee with the group.  Only spoken to when she asks a direct question regarding the work – and then in short clipped tones.  Asked to leave work areas.

This woman is a mature, highly competant individual.  I’m thinking her work excellence has made them feel threatened.  It doesn’t help that she’s asked my advice – they see that as “sucking up”.

She doesn’t want me to intervene.  She is employed for a short time and just wants to get it done.  She also believes in the work she is doing and wants to do a good job because “it’s the right thing to do” and thinks if we intervene her life will become unbearable and the job won’t get done.

So for her – I act as a sounding board.  I’ve rewarded her good work on this project with opportunities to extend herself on others (she is just starting in my industry and relishes the chance to learn new things).  I don’t know what else to do.  I have reported her situation to my boss.  I’ve said that this employee does not want her to act on the information but as basic duty of care – I think my boss needs to know.

In the meantime as a manager I am ineffective. 

To be honest it started last year when my boss allowed the bully to bypass me to get what he wants.  Now he treats me with contempt.  That action really has made my position untenable.

And the bottom line is I don’t love my job that much.

But back to my employee – do you have any advice?  What can I do to make her work life more satisfying?  Given that sacking the bully is not an option I have at the moment… Your help would be appreciated.

Respite

This week I’ve had a week off, yes my colleague is on leave. But to be fair since my last meeting he has behaved himself. 

But his past behaviour impacts on me because I have to set up what I think are rewards for him.

This is part of the carrot approach my boss is trying to put in place alongside the negative feedback sessions she has with him.. She cops his behaviour like I do.

Trips away for work to exotic places just stick in my craw.  Yet I do it because the bottom line is I want him to work well for us.  I don’t want him to be able to say that I’m not doing my job.  Despite that it gives me the irrits.

Plus, I’ve discovered a junior member of his team is also getting bullied.  This person has asked me not to intervene but I am nervous.  I don’t want this person to leave because of the treatment they get.

In this case the perpetrator and his sidekick deliberately exclude this person which is another form of bullying as we know.

I asked them to give this person positive feedback if they felt they were doing a good job… They agreed this person was doing a good job.  There’s been no positive feedback forthcoming.

Since then I learned the attitude from the sidekick was that if they gave positive feedback the person would be complacent and not work as hard!!

Unbelievable!!